How to get colleagues to say yes: ask directly, and in person (opens the source in a new tab)
- Cornell professor Vanessa Bohns says her research finds people agree to requests about twice as often as askers expect, so expect a yes and skip the hedging and apologies.
- Ask directly rather than hint: 'I'd like to meet Steve' is not a request. Ask face to face: in one study, strangers were 34 times likelier to agree in person than by email.
- Then give people time to think, or a heads-up beforehand, so the yes is genuine and doesn't turn into resentment or a quiet backout.
- 34x
- In-person vs email yes rate, strangers
Why it matters Most of us default to email, the least effective channel, because it feels safer. A small change in how you ask can win the deadline extension, the introduction or the extra hire.
Other side Studies of strangers and small favours may not carry over to big asks of busy bosses, and in hybrid teams a desk-side ask can feel like pressure. A yes won by presence may be less voluntary than it looks, which is her own closing point.